Golfer:  "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."

Caddy:  "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

9

Golfer:  "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."

Caddy:  "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

8

Golfer:  "Do you think my game is improving?"

Caddy:  "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

7

Golfer:  "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"

Caddy:  "Eventually."

6

Golfer:  "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."

Caddy:  "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

5

Golfer:  "Please stop checking your watch all the time.  It's too much

of a distraction."

Caddy:  "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

4

Golfer:  "How do you like my game?"

Caddy:  "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

3

Golfer:  "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"

Caddy:  "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

2

Golfer:  "This is the worst course I've ever played on."

Caddy:  "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

1

Golfer:  "That can't be my ball, it's too old."

Caddy:  "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."